Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
