your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize