Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
