actually, I'm a sock model
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
