Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
