girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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