I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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