why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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