I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
