Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just saw a hot homeless man
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
