Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize