my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
