Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
