New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
