this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
