Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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