I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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