apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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