I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
