She went from zero to smokin in five shots
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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