Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize