i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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