Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
