Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
