wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
