God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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