Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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