i wish starbucks made bloody marys
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
