Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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