last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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