Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
