Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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