idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
