No awkward lesbian experiences without me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
