so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
