we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
