i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
