I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
