I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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