Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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