Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
