That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
