guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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