You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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