So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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