now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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