But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
