Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
