also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
how does that bad decision feel?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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