I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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