I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have fence marks all over my body
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
