So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
