First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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