What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
