I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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