Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
