note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
