You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I need to calm my uterus...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize