carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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