Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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