wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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